2 Poems by Levi Athens

Cross-Faded on Holy Water and Premarital Sex 

 

wait just a moment 

let me put on the facade you know and love 

after all, being fictitious is all we’re really good at- 

 

but this charade isn’t to my liking anymore: 

 bless me father for i have sinned 

 it has been years since my last confession 

 

i confess that i am sick 

of only being loved  

at arm’s length 

 

i confess that i am tired 

of chasing your pride 

when it’s unattainable  

 

i confess that i am sorry 

to have been born 

just to be your penance  

 

for you i’ll do  

the sign of the cross 

roads where we part ways  

                                          have  

                                          never  

                                          been  

                                          more  

                                          traveled  

 

 

 

this is where i reconcile 

to never be like you 

to never again pretend to be something i’m not 

i was born cross-faded and this is how i will stay

 

 

 

shapeshifter

 

He always smelled like cigarette smoke, 

but the coughing was my favorite part.  

It distracted from my soul-weary sighs  

begging to rip from my chest. 

  

And the haze almost reminded me  

of the aurora borealis  

that I would almost certainly never see.  

 

When we drove down the highway listening to sad songs, 

I could blame the verge of tears on the fumes 

and roll down the window.  

 

Feeling the wind in my hair going as fast as a felony allowed 

I almost felt alive for a moment.  

And if I closed my eyes I could almost imagine 

that I was anywhere else  

being anyone else. 

 

I could be the princess my daddy never said I was, 

and maybe this time I’ll deserve his love- 

 

Or I could be the saint he always wanted me to be 

and crucify myself upside down 

so his frown looks like a smile.  

 

But then again, maybe I’m better suited to be 

the type of girl to take a drag when offered 

and disregard the consequences.  

 

And if I closed my eyes I could almost pretend 

that I didn’t want to grab the wheel, steer us into oncoming traffic 

and kill us both.