Tater Tot Hotdish

     Growing up in Minnesota, Tater Tot Hotdish is a staple. Follow along with this recipe to experience the faraway and familiar feelings of your childhood and try not to think about the fact that it’s gone, and you fear you’ll never experience that kind of joy again.  

     Step 1: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Make sure to take out Grandma’s ancient cast-iron pans that have been waiting to be seasoned for the past two months before they heat up. There are a few more here now than there used to be, so this might take a minute. Remind Mom that she probably shouldn’t refer to this as your “last meal” since you’re going to college, not death row. 

     Step 2: Cook the ground beef in a pan, seasoning to taste as it cooks with Mom’s melted canister of Lawry’s Seasoning Salt that’s been around longer than you. Drain the grease from the pan. Take the cat off the countertop, by now she’s probably gotten pretty close to the pile of ingredients you’ve laid out. Try to memorize how her chubby frame feels in your hands. Where all the spots on her fur are. Pick her up with extra care, hoping that somehow your being will shoot out of your fingers and into her, so she doesn’t forget you when you leave.  

     Step 3: Spread the beef in the bottom of a baking dish. Remember Mom asking you to open the cupboard door for her when her hands were greasy from raw meat. She doesn’t ask tonight, and you wonder if she’s already getting used to you not being around.  

     Step 4: Drain the liquid from the canned vegetables and spread them over the meat. Check the time to see if Dad is getting home from work soon, then realize he was supposed to be home half an hour ago. Not surprising, he usually doesn’t have dinner at home. But you thought that maybe he would tonight, since you’re leaving in the morning and it’s your last real supper at home.  

     Step 5: Using a rubber spatula that may or may not have a cheesy quote printed on it, spread the cans of soup over the meat and vegetables. When you open the soup cans, try to do it quietly. If the cats hear you, they’ll think it’s food and come running, circling you like a group of sharks. Don’t mix the soup with anything, leave it as it comes out of the can. 

     Step 6: Arrange a layer of tater tots on top of the pan. You can tediously lay them out, or you can do what Mom used to do and just dump the bag on top, shaking the pan around until the tots no longer overlap. It tastes better that way.  

     Step 7: Bake uncovered at 350 for 50 minutes. This is just long enough for Mom to get “sucked into” the show you’re watching in the living room, so keep that in mind when you pick it out. I recommend a good true crime documentary.  

     Step 8: Top with shredded cheese (This is optional. You might rather spend that cheese-sprinkling time sharing the last few stories you forgot to tell Mom and making sure you packed enough pairs of underwear and socks) and serve.   

     Step 9: Enjoy! Savor the crunchiness of the tater tots and their molten insides. The saltiness of the soup and how it will likely burn you as you take a bite. Savor the warm feeling it gives you, and wonder if it’s because it’s hot food, or because you’re at home and your mom made you dinner. Realize that apparently, “home” is crunchy and salty and contains a bag of frozen vegetables. Apparently, to create happiness, all you need is a bag of tater tots and some cream-of-mushroom. Memorize the feeling of steam on your face, because the next time you’ll have a home-cooked meal is probably Thanksgiving.  

     Step 10: Clean up after you eat. Rinse the plates and put them in the dishwasher. Realize that tomorrow, there will be way too many plates here for just Mom and Dad. Realize that by now, you’ve probably eaten more meals on these plates than you will for the rest of your life. You ate off these plates wearing princess dresses and those tiny plastic shoes from Walmart. You ate off these plates on 13 first days of school, 18 birthdays, 18 Christmases, Thanksgivings, and 6574.5 days. But now, these are just Mom and Dad’s plates.  

     Step 11: It’s getting a little late now, you should probably put some things in the car since you’ve packed all 13 first days, 18 birthdays and Christmases and Thanksgivings and 6574.5 happy days at home into a discount laundry bag from Target, cheap laundry baskets, and a suitcase you got from Grandma’s house last week when they cleaned it out. Throw these things into your car and go back inside. Try not to look upset, this is expensive, and you’re supposed to be excited about it. Watch another episode of the true crime documentary. You don’t have to pay attention right away, because Dad will inevitably get home and ask you to start it over so he can watch too. Let it sink in that this is your last time watching TV in your spot on the couch for a while. Don’t let it show that you had that thought in the first place. 

     Step 12: Get ready for bed. Dig all the stuff you need out of your suitcase and get ready in the bathroom one last time. Be painfully aware of the empty spot in the toothbrush holder and the emptiness of the countertop where all your products used to sit. Shut the light off and go to bed. Stop thinking all that cheesy shit about “one last sleep” in your bed and “one last time” with the cat sleeping at your feet. Force yourself to think it’s not that big of a deal and go to sleep, because college is expensive, and you will like it.  

     Ingredients 

• 1lb ground beef 

• 1 bag of tater tots (you won’t use the whole bag) 

• 2 cans of cream of mushroom soup 

• 1 bag of frozen vegetables (my mom uses corn, but mixed vegetables are also good) 

directions 

1.      Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

1.      While the oven is preheating, brown the ground beef (seasoning to taste as you cook) and drain off the grease. 

1.      Spread the beef in the bottom of a 2 to 2 1/2 quart baking dish. 

1.      Spread the vegetables over the meat 

1.      Using a rubber spatula, spread the cans of soup over the top of the vegetables and meat. Use the soup as is, straight from the can.  

1.      Arrange a layer of tater tots over the top of that. 

1.      Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. 

1.      Top with your favorite variety of shredded cheese as you serve.