Promises Made and Forgotten

None of us had the foresight to remember exactly when the storms started, but it felt like an eternity ago. The clouds seemed to be almost swirling and alive when they came, bringing a torrent of rain the likes of which no one had ever seen before. It was those clouds that flickered behind my eyes as I was bashed against trees and houses, carried away by the current rushing down the street I’d lived on all my life. Every impact knocked the breath out of me, leaving me desperate to suck in another before I was plunged underwater again. I tried to catch anything I could grab to keep me above the raging tide, but only succeeded in tearing my hands to shreds. An instinctual scream for help erupted from my throat the best it could. I knew no one was coming for me; this was between me and Death. Whoever had the stronger will would come out victorious, and I was beginning to think it wasn’t me.

This time the blow connected with my head and I didn’t have the strength to come back up. I could feel myself sinking and my consciousness slipping away with the water. I thought an angel kissed me until he turned me on my side to help me cough up water. My body trembled with shivers as I tried to get my bearings again. Neither the rain nor the rocking of the boat helped. I suddenly focused on the man’s fingers snapping in front of me to get my attention,

“I said can you hear me? Can you breathe alright?”

The hair that was plastered to my forehead dripped water directly in my eyes, but I looked up at him nonetheless, coughing and nodding simultaneously. I saw some tension leave his shoulders as he nodded back, pushing his hair back with his fingers,

“You’re lucky the current took us right past you, you could have died. Almost did too.”

He took my hand and pulled me to be sitting upright while he asked my name.

“Ambrose,” I choked out. I still wasn’t quite sure what happened other than that he saved my life. I coughed up a thank you, my body shivering violently. While the burning subsided from my lungs, I looked around at the faces within the small but sturdy rowboat. There was who I presumed to be a father and a son, one of the father’s arms resting on his preteen’s shoulders. Sitting next to them was a woman in her late twenties/early thirties wearing business attire, though I noticed she was missing one of her kitten heels. The only other person in the boat was the man sitting next to me, the one that pulled me from the water. All of us were sitting in the cramped space between the two bench seats. Other than us the ship was bare, save one dingy bucket to bail water.

“Are you all related?” I asked in a still breathless voice, but the man sitting next to me shook his head. He answered my follow up question without me even having to ask it,

“I pulled them from the water just like I did for you.”

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye; his head was tipped back, eyes closed, letting the rain wash over him. He seemed sort of terse, cold, hardened even. It made me curious about him. I was curious about the others too, so I asked their names. The father spoke up first,

“My name is Daniel and this is my oldest Issac. I’m a pastor at the local Protestant church. Say hi buddy,”

The kid waved shyly before going back to resting his head on his dad’s shoulder. I looked over at the woman; She was examining her fingernails when she answered, like I wasn’t worth her eye contact,

“I’m Melanie. Stay out of my personal space and we’ll be just fine, got it kid?”

Not much of that to go around, but whatever. My gaze moved back to the man next to me, he hadn’t moved at all. I opened my mouth to ask my question again-

“Atlas,” was all he said. Either he’s a mind reader, or just very spatially aware.

Hours passed agonizingly slowly in the boat, with little to do other than watch the water. We decided to talk about philosophy, religion, pretty much anything to dispel the boredom. We got to talking about our families and discovered that every single one of us was a firstborn. None of us knew what to think of it until Daniel told us the story of Moses in Egypt. I remembered the story very well, my parents were devout Catholics. But even Atlas was listening very intently now.

“The Pharaoh wouldn’t let the Israelites leave Egypt, even after nine plagues. So God killed the firstborn of everyone in Egypt except for the Israelites with lamb’s blood smeared over their doors. The Angel of Death passed over them and let them live. But this time.. God is letting the firstborns live.”

Daniel chuckled something about the lord working in mysterious ways, but I was more focused on Atlas. If I thought he was quiet before, I was sorely mistaken.

Even with the pounding rain it still got darker at night. Issac curled up on David’s lap, whether it was for warmth or comfort I didn’t know. Soon the two of them were asleep, then Melanie was too. I tried my best to find a comfortable position, but sleep wouldn’t come. Atlas was still staring at the endless horizon, like he’d been doing for hours. He was like a too tightly wound clock, so still but ready to burst any second given the chance.

“Can’t sleep?” I meant it as friendly small talk, but he looked at me like I was stupid.

“I’m still awake, aren’t I?” He mumbled.

I was becoming increasingly vexed with his behavior, what did I ever do to have him treat me this way? Atlas went to turn away from me again, but I pulled him back to face me,

“Why are you like that? In case you hadn’t noticed we’re stuck in the same boat, literally. Might as well try and be friendly, yeah?”

Atlas’s eyes narrowed as he shrugged off my grasp,

“You don’t know shit about me, and you don’t want to. So shut it and go the fuck to sleep.”

He glared at me harshly for a few moments, making me the one to turn away this time. I wondered what happened to make him this way. Maybe the cold of the rain seeped into his soul. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned my head back against the side of the boat, shutting my eyes and feeling the raindrops hit my lids.

The days were passing like years, with all of us getting increasingly irritable. Not a minute would pass without Melanie complaining that her stomach was in agony. Every hour, Daniel would retell the story about Jesus in the desert for 40 years. Atlas looked like he wanted to strangle all of us. And poor little Issac was nearly in tears with how hungry he was. I would have suggested that we try to find food in one of the houses, but they were entombed underwater days ago. Now it was just open ocean as far as the eye could see. We all went to bed hungry that night; I’m not sure how long it took me to fall asleep, but it only felt like a moment before I was jostled awake. It was Melanie shoving me out of the way to look over the edge of the boat. I was about to snap at her when I saw that Daniel and Issac were looking over the edge too.

“What’s going on?” I mumbled, trying to rub the miniscule amount of sleep I got out of my eyes. Daniel frantically waved me over, a grin on his face,

“Food from the heavens my boy! God came through for us!”

I raised an intrigued eyebrow, joining him and Issac at the side of the boat. There was white bubbly stuff floating on top of the water. It wasn’t like any food I’d ever seen, but Issac didn’t hesitate to shovel it into his mouth. I scooped some off the water and tasted a little, and I was astounded to find that it tasted like sugar.

“What is this stuff?” I asked, looking to Daniel for an explanation.

“It’s manna!” He exclaimed with glee, “After Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the desert, God sent them manna from the sky so they wouldn’t starve. I told you that God is looking out for us.”

I remember reading about manna in the bible, but I thought it was just a metaphor. Apparently not. I ate my fill and sighed in content, at least we weren’t worrying about starving anymore. But it was still raining, and there was no end in sight for that. Everyone seemed to be in better spirits, except for Atlas. He still wore his signature frown and wouldn’t look at any of us for longer than a few seconds. By the time it got dark and everyone settled in for the night, I was sick of his attitude. I’d get his story out of him whether he liked it or not. I waited until I was sure the other three were really asleep before addressing Atlas,

“Alright spill. Something happened to you to make you act like this, don’t even think about lying to me.”

He didn’t bother to deny it, but he did send another nasty glare my way. When I didn’t back down, Atlas gritted his teeth and hissed,

“I already told you, you don’t want to know me. I’m not about to go spilling my guts about the family I lost, I don’t need anybody’s pity.”

I felt a flare of anger inside my chest and I shot back,

“You’re not the only one who lost family, you know! You don’t need to be a dick about it Atlas.”

Atlas squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. When he released his fingers, they ran through his hair, tearing at every single snarl. I felt a little bad for raising my voice at him, especially when I saw the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

“Let me ask you something Ambrose,” Atlas murmured, “Did you have any siblings?”

I shook my head, I was an only child. He nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but then clammed up suddenly. I waited for him to continue, and when he finally did he said,

“I know I’m not the only person to lose someone. I know we all lost people who were important to us, okay? But my twin didn’t deserve any of this.”

My eyes widened in shock. He didn’t just lose a sibling, he lost his twin. In essence, he lost a part of himself to this flood.

“He was the better half of us, smarter, kinder. August was fucking going to Juilliard on a violin scholarship. And I dropped out of college to play bass in a wannabe rock band. Our parents were so proud of him… barely even spared a glance my way.”

“What happened?” I barely dared to whisper, but I had to know.

“We were both home for spring break when the rain started. Just as things were starting to get out of control, Dad had a heart attack. August and I tried to take Mom with us, but she wouldn’t leave him. We took the rowboat from the garage and let the water rise around us. It was just the two of us for a while, but then he saw someone in the water. He tried to help them, tried to drag them into the boat with us. He lost his balance-”

Atlas covered his mouth with his hand, trying to quiet himself while he cried. I couldn’t stand to see him like this; I scooted over and wrapped my arms around him. After some hesitation, he returned the gesture, sobbing quietly into my shoulder. Atlas told me how he vowed to save everyone he saw, because it’s what August would have wanted.

“Why did he deserve this Ambrose?” Atlas sniffled, “He was born a minute after me, but he deserved this life so much more.”

Atlas’s voice got even quieter and I felt his arms tighten around me,

“I hate God. I hate him for taking my family away from me, and I’ll never forgive him.”

There wasn’t any manna on the water when we woke up. For the next four days there wasn’t any manna to be seen. On the fifth day, I woke up to everyone screaming. Melanie was trying to push Atlas off the boat. Daniel and I held her back, but she wouldn’t stop yelling,

“God sent me a vision! He said that we have to send him someone as reconciliation!”

We tried to talk sense into her but then she said something that made everyone stop,

“God said that he’ll bring the sun back if we get rid of someone.”

Daniel stood frozen. Atlas and I were pale. Issac had wide eyes full of fear. What were we to do? I thought that Daniel would be on my side, that no one has to (or should) die. But now he seemed to be on the fence. They seemed to think that Atlas was the obvious choice.

“He doesn’t believe in the goodness of God Ambrose, he’s said so many times. Maybe it would be better if we-”

“Fuck no!” I had to put an end to this right away, “We don’t even know if the dream was real or not, Melanie might be having weird dreams from being starving!”

But it would seem that Daniel and Melanie had made up their minds. They were going to throw Atlas overboard whether I was committed or not. I had to make a rash decision.

“Wait!” I cried out, standing between Atlas and them, “I’ll do it.”

From how close we were standing, I felt Atlas go rigid behind me. He spun me around and glared, but I could see the concern and panic in his eyes,

“You’re not gonna do that, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m not losing you too!”

Of course I was scared. No one in their right mind wouldn’t be scared. But I had to do this. I took his hand and squeezed it gently,

“Atlas, you have so much more life to live, and I want you to live it. If the dream was real and God will bring the sun back, I want you to have that chance. So you have to let me go.”

His eyes were wide as I let go of his hand, Melanie and Daniel leading me over to the side of the boat. They used Daniel’s belt to restrain my wrists and Melanie’s tie to bind my ankles. That way if the bucket didn’t knock me out, I wouldn’t be able to swim back up.

“Close your eyes my boy,” Daniel murmured, “I’ll try to make this quick.”

I did as he said, standing and listening to only the wind and the rain. The blow was sharp to the back of my head, making me topple over into the sea. I sank quickly and my lungs burned until they didn’t. High above me I saw a bright light; I thought maybe it was the gates of Heaven coming to greet me. But I hope Melanie was right. I hope it’s the sun.