Four Poems

Letting Go

I hold on so tightly
the rope begins to burn my hands
My friends point and say it looks like it hurts
But this is just who I am

I cannot risk losing what I have lost
so many times before

Even if in the process,
I end up hurting myself more.

 

 

Graduation & devastation

I said “hello” to you on my first day of school
And then every day after,
There wasn’t much we knew about life,
Just that being together meant fun jokes and laughter
We were next to each other on the school bus
waving and making faces at the car behind us.

I tied our friendship bracelets so tight
In fear it might fall off
As if losing the bracelet was the equivalent
of losing the person wearing it.

We said “Best friends forever”,
We thought there were so many sleepovers left for our friendship,
But we were fools, and time was a cruel twisted trick.

Taking finals before final goodbyes
We made promises on playgrounds
But our pinky promises turned to perpendicular lines
How did we go from recess in the afternoon
To crying in the cafeteria bathrooms?
So many questions, but none quite like
“How was forever over so soon?”

Strawberry skin and sherbert skies,
I still have my scar from when I slipped and cut open the corner of my eye
I hope you still have the cards I made for you,
the boxes I decorated, and the poems I wrote.
I hope you reread them.
I hope the memories manifest as a lump in your throat.

Because they do for me.

Graduation and devastation,
two words I never thought would share a single sentence.
This will be the last time I kick the back of his seat,
the last time we walk through this entrance.

We went our separate ways,
and now home is a different place to all of us.
Now we’re in the car that’s driving
behind
the school bus.

And it makes me want to cry.

Because when I said hello to you in preschool,
I never believed I’d have to say goodbye.

 

 

Curls

My childhood rests inside me.
Every now and then, it wakes and
forces itself out
when I am well-rested,
And with the right people,
And when they ask me about-

my cats
Calicos, the color of autumn trees
I hug her close against my cluttered chest and
she helps me breathe.

My new friend,
You remind me of someone I have
Known before, you are
ethereal like smoke in the sky and-
to your lips, TV with double vision
You pass me it and I-

cover my face with my elbow and let out a cough.
There are still tags on my plush,
They’ll stay new forever if I don’t cut them off.

My biology class,
At 2:00 pm, I wait all day for my day to begin
Review with Cell diagrams
My eyelids weigh more than my willpower
And I am-

Lost
my baby tooth
I place it under my pillow with utmost precision and care
I will not fall asleep. I will stand guard.
So at the wooden door, I stare.

A blonde and tan boy with eyes of gold.
I see his frame across the library
His metal arms, my eyes magnets
I catch my breath, and he catches me

Looking
through my DVDS,
I laugh when they skew my reflection,
My sister is here too, she
Smiles at her iridescent complexion.

My boy tries to curb my cravings
With his texts, but I hunger relentlessly
I hurry back from class
I knock on his door, and he lets me

In
physical education,
He had dark curls and dark eyes
He said few words to me,
And I gave him sarcastic replies.

All this change makes my stomach churn
But when it’s just humid enough,
My baby curls always                                                                                                                                                             return.

 

 

Kaleidoscopic Kid

A world made in monochrome
looked neon to me.
Bubblegum pink backpack,
Below my knees.

Snow sits in my eyelashes,
Like children sitting in swings.
Both glistening, glittering
Onto stronger things they cling.

Catching crushes
Like my zipper catches my hair
I rub my eyes,
I see galaxies,
And I stare.

Did you know there were constellations
In our contemplations?
Like sparkles stuck in our cerebrum.

Everything we thought was thrilling,
Everything we said was fun.

Did you know there was chrome in our condition?
Like there were sequins stitched into our vision.

Everything we saw shone.
Every sound we felt in our bones.

My pupils were peepholes,
Don’t look away,
It only took a second for me to change.
My mind was vivid and untangled.
Admire my colors
and my angles.

Before they go away.

A world made in monochrome
We were multihued.
Bubblegum pink backpack,
I loved, but still outgrew.

I look nothing like I did.
But I’ll always be a kaleidoscopic kid.