End Vision

…..I wake up to the sound of barking, heavy rain, and the fire alarm. And it’s Monday. Typical.  

…..Oh, wait. 

…..The fire alarm. 

…..Shoot. 

…..I spring out of bed, throw on yesterday’s hoodie, shorts, socks, (don’t worry, I plan on changing later), and fling open my door. As always, Chili is underfoot, barking away.  

…..“I know, I know. I smell the smoke. C’mon.” We scamper downstairs together. I already hear my sisters arguing in the kitchen.  

…..“Open the door!” Andrea shouts. 

…..“No, the window! It lets the smoke out faster, duh!” Daria snaps. 

…..“Well, why can’t we just use the chimney?”  

…..“Do you seriously think that’s gonna work?” 

…..I wave my hands in the air. “Guys, shush! Let me think.” My sisters turn to me. 

…..“It’s about time you woke up.”  

…..“Nice bedhead, lazybones.”  

…..“Whatever. Andrea, open the door. Daria, get the broom and turn off the fire alarm. I’ll take care of the smoke.”  

…..“Mom would’ve made us open the windows,” Daria sneers.  

…..“Mom would also tell you to eat your breakfast and let the dog out,” I reply, pointing to each object in question. “Where is she, anyway?” 

…..Andrea points to Chili. There’s a note tucked in his collar. I bend over, pick it up, and read it aloud: Got called in again. Feed the girls. Mom. 

…..I sigh, running a hand through my hair. The alarm is starting to piss me off.  

…..Daria crosses her arms. “See? You’re the oldest, anyway. You’re supposed to fee-” 

  …“Shut it! And turn off the fire alarm, already,” I snap.  

…..Daria’s face falls. Andrea’s shocked. Chili whines and tilts his head. “Hey, listen. You can have, uh, Pop-Tarts today. I won’t tell Mom.” 

…..“Can you turn off the alarm, too? Please?” Andrea asks. 

…..“Yeah, I got it. Now eat, or you’ll miss the bus.” 

…..Andrea hands me the broom on her way to the pantry. I prop open the door for Chili. He sprints out and starts barking again. He’s a heat-seeking missile when it comes to squirrels.  

…..I press and hold the alarm’s off button with the broom handle. Finally, peace and quiet. Well, except for Andrea and Daria arguing over who gets the last cinnamon strudel surprise. Tuning them out, I head upstairs to shower. I get a clean long-sleeved shirt, a hoodie (Rae will steal it anyway), jeans, socks, and head over to our bathroom. 

…..After throwing my clothes on the floor, I turn on the light. When I see my reflection, I freeze. I’m wearing my usual t-shirt and shorts – only they’re soaked with blood. My hair is dripping wet, my eyes are puffy. I’m trembling.  

…..I look down at myself. I’m still wearing my pajamas. I look back at my reflection, I run a hand through my hair. It’s dry. In the mirror, my hand leaves bloody streaks behind. Some of it trickles down my forehead. What the hell? 

…..With trembling fingers, I reach out to touch the glass.  

…..The door pounds. I pull my hand away.  

…..“Hey, are you ready yet?” Andrea shouts. 

…..“W-what’s up? Do you need something?” 

…..“Can you call Chili? He listens to you better.” 

…..I get dressed, open the door, and follow her downstairs. The shower can wait. Looking at my reflection can, too. “Ok, go with Daria to the bus stop. I’ll call him.”  

…..While my sisters put on their raincoats, I step outside onto the front porch. I cup my hands around my mouth. “Chili! Come here, boy! It’s time to come inside!”  

…..I put my pointer finger and thumb in my mouth and whistle. I hear rustling in the forest across the street. Chili bounds through the leaves, his fur slick with rain and mud. I squat, opening my arms for him to jump into.  

…..Only he doesn’t.  

…..A huge, sleek, slate gray pickup truck barrels down the road.  

…..And just like that, it’s gone.  

…..So is Chili.  

…..No — he’s down the street. His back is in the shape of a C. There’s a tire track across his body. 

…..The truck keeps going. 

…..No. 

…..I run out onto the road. He’s too still. I kneel in front of him. 

…..“Chili. Hey, boy.” I whisper. “Wake up.”  

…..Rain pours down around us. It soaks my clothes. It washes Chili’s blood down the drain. 

…..I pick him up. “C’mon. Please, wake up.” 

…..Daria calls my name. She’s standing behind me, holding an umbrella. “What happened?” 

…..“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” 

…..Andrea pushes her to the side. “Is that Chili?”  

…..I twist my body away from them. They can’t see him like this. I hold him tighter. 

…..“It is, isn’t it! You let him get hit!” Daria says, stabbing a finger into my back. “I told you guys to open the window! Now look at what happened!” 

…..I stand up and face her. Andrea’s eyes fall on Chili’s body. She hides her face in her hands, letting out a sob. Daria stares at me, her gaze raw, red, and full of hatred. 

…..“I never knew why mom always put you in charge. Just because you’re older, definitely doesn’t mean you’re more responsible.” 

…..“It’s because you’re insufferable, Daria. You’re annoying. You’re always bossing everyone around.” 

…..She gasps. “You’re never here, I don’t know what else to do!” 

…..“Don’t you think I ever want a break? That I need a break? Don’t you think I wish mom was around more? I don’t know what to do, either!” 

…..“Just do this: try actually listening to me for a change. If you did, Chili would still be alive. If you got a job, Mom would be around more. If you just did something with yourself, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” She steps closer. “This is all your fault. Everything.” 

…..We stare each other down. My jaw tightens. Her lips tremble.  

…..“Daria! The bus!” Andrea tugs on her sleeve. Tears stream down her cheeks. “We’re gonna miss it!” 

…..Daria stares at me, turns, and walks away. Her shoulders start shaking. 

<><><> 

…..I sit with my back against the door. Chili lies in my lap, heavy, wet, and cold. My hand trembles as I press call. Rae picks up.  

…..“Babe! Did you oversleep again? You didn’t meet me out front today.” 

…..I sniffle, then chuckle. “No, I didn’t. Not this time.” 

…..Concern laces her voice. “What? What’s wrong?” 

…..“It’s, uh, it’s Chili.” 

…..“What happened?” 

…..I take a breath. “The smoke alarm went off, Daria told me to leave the window open, I didn’t listen, I left the door open, he got out of the yard, and, and-” My voice catches, and my body begins to shake. 

…..“Hey, hey. Take a deep breath, ok?” There’s some chatter in the background, then, “I’m coming over.” 

…..“Wait, you’re leaving campus? What about your classes?” 

…..“You’re upset, and I wanna be there for you.” 

…..I wipe my nose and smile. “Ok. Thanks, Rae. Love you.” 

…..“You, too.” 

…..I end the call and put my phone down on the floor.  

…..What am I gonna do with Chili? What will mom think? Did anyone else see what happened? Does the driver even know what they did? I look down at him. His white fur is soaked and crimson.  

…..Just like my clothes in my reflection.  

…..My chest grows tight. My shoulders feel heavy. There’s no way… I need to distract myself. I have to get it over with. 

…..With shaking legs and blurry vision, I stand up. I carry Chili into the kitchen and lay him down on the counter. I dig out a trash bag from under the sink. Before I open the bag, I take off his collar and drape it over the sink. As I close the bag, there’s a knock on the door. 

…..Rae stands on the porch. I open the door, and she wraps her arms around my waist. I rest my chin in the crook of her neck. I breathe a little easier now. We stand like that for a few minutes until I pull away.  

…..“So, where is he?” Rae asks. 

…..“In the kitchen. In a bag. You won’t have to see him. Um, did you want t-” 

…..“No, no. I don’t have to see that,” she says, fidgeting with the ends of her sleeves. “Will you bury him?” 

…..I flinch at the thought, but nod my head. “Could you help me with that?” 

…..“Of course I will. I know Chili meant a lot to you.” 

…..“You being here means a lot to me, too, Rae.” 

…..She smiles at me. I take her hand and walk into the kitchen. 

<><><> 

…..By the time we’re finished, I’m worn down to the bone. I had to stop twice to gather myself. The rain didn’t let up once. Rae and I are back inside, sharing leftover pizza. I was too tired to shower. I’m too anxious to look at my reflection. What will it show? Will Rae see it? Will we see anything? Now’s your chance.  

…..I clear my throat. “Rae, can you head upstairs with me?” 

…..“Sure? Your house is basically a second home to me, you know.”  

…..I roll my eyes. “Smartass. I wanna show you something, though.” 

…..“Alright, Captain. Lead the way.” I take her hand and lead her upstairs. Mine is shaking, but she doesn’t notice. 

…..I walk into the bathroom, but don’t turn on the lights. 

…..“So, I’m, um, gonna turn on the lights. Tell me what you see.”  

…..“Ok? Is this a prank or someth-” 

…..“Just listen!” I hiss.  

…..I close my eyes and flip the switch.  

…..Rae’s hand leaves my grip. She gasps.  

…..I open my eyes. 

…..One of them is swollen shut. Rae’s nose is bruised and bleeding. Our hair and clothes are soaking wet.  

…..“What the hell happened?” she whispers.  

…..I must’ve been quiet for too long, as Rae swats my shoulder. There’s a scrape on her hand in the mirror. “Answer me! What’s wrong with us?” 

…..“The same thing happened this morning! My reflection showed me all bloody and drenched!” 

…..“But how, though?” 

…..“I don’t know, ok?!” 

…..“Hey, hey, shh. Let’s, um, let’s get cleaned up. Let’s not worry about it,” she says, standing behind me and massaging my shoulders.  

…..I wipe my eyes. “Ok, ok. Let’s do that. We both need a shower, yeah?” 

…..Rae giggles. “Especially you. And some sleep. Let’s call it a day.” 

…..“Yeah. This is the worst Monday ever.” 

…..We both shower, change into pajamas, and crawl into my bed. Rae does homework on her laptop, and I look for jobs on my phone. 

…..We fall asleep to the sound of rain. 

<><><> 

…..I wake up to Rae brushing her thumbs underneath my eyes. My face feels wet. 

…..“Good morning, baby,” she says softly. “You were crying in your sleep.” 

…..Everything from yesterday rushes in. The fire alarm, the truck, Chili, Daria. 

…..The reflections.  

…..I sit up, putting my head in my hands. Rae kisses my shoulder, then rests her head on it. We sit like that for a few moments. 

…..“Was I saying anything?” 

…..“You kept saying that you were sorry. That you didn’t mean it.”   

…..“Yeah. Things got ugly between me and Daria.” 

…..She rests her hand on my knee. “Did you want to talk about it?” 

…..“I called her insufferable. Bossy. She said I’m never around. That everything’s my fault.” 

…..“Aw, honey.” 

…..I smooth my hand over my hair. “I… I hate that I called her that. She’s trying her best. I just don’t want to be responsible anymore. I don’t know what to do, Rae.” 

…..“You have a diploma. You’re looking for jobs, right? You’re trying.” 

…..“Yeah, yeah. I could’ve tried to close the door, too. Now look what happened to Chili.”  

…..She rubs her hand up and down my leg. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know he’d go that far. You didn’t know that truck would drive down the street.” 

…..“I know. You’re right.” Tears well up. I quickly wipe them away. “I don’t really wanna talk about it anymore. Sorry.” 

…..“Don’t be. Let’s get some breakfast. Let’s get rid of that morning breath, too.” 

…..“Asshole.” I lightly whack her with one of my pillows.  

…..“It doesn’t smell li-” 

…..“Alright, alright, I know what you meant,” I say. I’m giggling now. She is, too. 

…..As we get out of bed and get dressed, I remember something. 

…..“Thanks again for coming over yesterday. Who dropped you off?” 

…..She pulls down one of her sleeves. “Just someone in a group project. Could you drop me off today, though?” 

…..“Of course,” I say, kissing her on the cheek. “Let’s brush our teeth in the kitchen, though.” 

…..Her eyebrows knit together, then she remembers. “Right. Good idea.” 

…..We go downstairs together.  

<><><> 

…..The rain pounds against my windshield as I pull up to Rae’s campus. She only had two classes today, so she hadn’t been gone for long. A few minutes later, Rae comes outside, all wrapped up in one of my hoodies. She smiles and waves when she sees my Jeep. I give her a cheesy wink. 

…..She opens my car door to get in, and I lean over for a peck. 

…..“I missed you,” I say. 

…..“Sap,” she replies, closing the door. “I guess I missed you, too.” 

…..I chuckle. “Whatever you say, Rae.” 

…..Right as I get ready to drive off, a truck at the front of the parking lot catches my eye. It’s huge, sleek, and slate gray. Scarlet speckles the bumper.  

…..Before I know it, I’m out of my car and striding over to the truck. Rae calls my name.  

…..“Hey! What are you doing?” 

…..“Don’t worry about it!” I yell over my shoulder. 

…..“Don’t worry about what?” 

…..I look ahead, almost running face-first into a man’s chest. He’s standing by the driver’s side of the truck. I look up at him. He’s clean shaven, wearing a tight beanie, windbreaker, and a scowl.  

…..“It was you, wasn’t it?” I ask the man, fists at my side.  

…..“What the hell did I do?” he asks, meeting my gaze.  

…..“You ran over my dog yesterday!” 

…..“Oh, that’s what that was.” He smirks. “I thought it was just roadkill.” 

…..“You bastard. My little sisters were there. You didn’t even stop!” 

…..“Maybe you should trade in that cheap-ass Jeep and buy a fence.” 

…..I push him. “You take that back.” 

…..“You back the hell up,” he mutters.  

…..I shove him again. 

…..He lifts his left fist, and it meets my right eye. 

…..A hand is on my arm. When I drive my arm back, it’s met with a loud crunch.  

…..Rae screams. 

…..I turn around. She’s on the ground. Her hand covers her nose. 

…..The man looks from Rae, to me, then back to Rae. He smiles with empty eyes.  

…..“You’re pathetic, the both of you,” he says. “You proud of this, Rae?” 

…..“Screw you, Derrick,” she hisses.  

…..Derrick chuckles and shakes his head. “Too late,” he whispers. He unlocks his truck, climbs in, and drives off.  

…..I turn to Rae. She’s still on the ground, glaring up at me. My anger drains out of me. My limbs are loose, and my face is hot. Blood trickles into my eye. 

…..“What the hell is wrong with you?” 

…..“I — Shoot. Rae, I’m so sorry,” I say. I hold out my hand to help her up, but she swats it away. 

…..She stands up. “You’re sorry? You just embarrassed us in front of everyone!” 

…..I look around. It’s mostly parked cars and two faraway groundskeepers. 

…..“I am, Rae! I didn’t expect you to come up behind me!” 

…..“I didn’t expect you to lose it like that!” 

…..“Didn’t you hear what he said?” 

…..“That doesn’t matter, you didn’t need to touch him!” 

…..I groan in frustration. I pat my pockets for my keys. It’d be easier if I could see out of both eyes. I find them, then storm to my car. 

…..“Hey, where are you going!” Rae calls out.  

…..“Home, since you don’t want to be seen with me. Are you coming?” 

…..A lightning bolt illuminates the sky. We both jump. 

…..She glares at me, but jogs back to the car. 

…..It’s a tense car ride back home. 

…..The tree over my house rustles and shakes in the wind. Rae and I dash inside. I peel off my jacket, toss off my shoes, then march upstairs. Suddenly, she grabs my wrist.  

…..“Hey, wait.” 

…..“What?” I pull out of her grasp.  

…..“Remember the mirror?” 

…..“Yeah… I do.” Her brown eyes are wide with fear.  

…..“I don’t know what we’ll see, Rae.” 

…..“There’s only one way we can find out, then.” 

…..She slides her hand into mine. We climb the rest of the stairs together.  

…..I flick on the lights.  

…..We’re silent. 

…..Rae’s not there. Her reflection is gone.  

…..There’s a clap of thunder. Everything goes black. 

…..Rae sobs. Tornado sirens wail.  

…..“What are we gonna do?” 

…..“Hey, hey. Listen to me,” I whisper. “Breathe with me. Let me use your flashlight. We’ll go to the basement and wait out the storm.” 

…..She’s quiet. “Rae?” 

…..“Yeah, here.” I take her phone and turn on the flashlight.  

…..“Follow me.” 

…..We link arms as we climb downstairs. I hear her praying under her breath. I think about my mom and sisters. Please, let them be alright. 

…..When we get to the basement steps, Rae tugs on my sleeve.  

…..“Wait, let me get my backpack.” 

…..“What? You want to do homework during a storm?” 

…..She scoffs. “Professors don’t care about the weather, babe.” 

…..I chuckle, then hear her walk away. While I wait, her phone lights up with a text.  

…..It’s Derrick. 

…..“U seein this weather” 

…..“Hopefully u made it back in that cheapass jeep lmao”  

…..“U rly r the storm. U ruin everything that comes in ur path” 

…..“U said u wouldnt do this to me again” 

…..“R u proud of this rae?” 

…..I feel her hand on my shoulder.  

…..“You cool with helping me study? It’ll take our minds off the storm.” 

…..I spin around. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

…..“Huh? Tell you what?” 

…..I flip off the flashlight and show Rae her phone. Her eyes widen with shock, then fear. She fidgets with her sleeves. 

…..“I… Listen, Derrick is just, um.” 

…..“Just what, Rae?” I snarl. “What am I? What are we?” 

…..“Babe, relax! We’re still girlfriend and-” 

…..“Get out.” 

…..“What?” 

…..“We’re done.” 

…..“No! Let me explain.” 

…..Her phone buzzes again. I throw it at the front door. It breaks the glass. The wind and rain blow through, illuminating her silhouette. 

…..I point behind her. “Get. Out! Leave!”  

…..“Look outside, you’re being ridiculous!” 

…..“Why should I care about the weather? You never even cared about me!” 

…..“Please, listen!” She steps towards me, reaching for my hands. “I love y-” 

…..Thunder cracks, drowning her out. The ceiling collapses. A branch falls through.  

…..Right over Rae. 

…..Rain gushes from above, seeping into the floor. Rae’s arm sticks out from underneath the branch, snapped between her wrist and elbow.  

…..The wind picks up, my blood runs cold. I fall to my knees.  

…..The mirror.  

…..It didn’t show Rae.  

…..Now she’s gone.  

…..I crawl to the basement door. I open it and go downstairs. I pray every step of the way. 

…..Our basement was never special. It’s where Rae and I had movie nights. It’s where I played hide and seek with my sisters. It’s where Chili hid during thunderstorms.  

…..I wrench open the bathroom door. One of mom’s flashlights sits by the sink.  

…..I turn it on and hold it up. 

…..My reflection is gone.