Reunited

Sometimes I see her in my dreams. The only memory I have left of her still haunts me. I never want to let her go until my eyes open and it’s all I’m begging for. What is left? What is worth living or dying for when the ground doesn’t seem real anymore? Nothing does. Each building or tree that comes to pass is like a mockery of Earth; what it used to be when she walked amongst us. Even my strands of hair beseech me to run my hands through them as she once did. Every atom is a cruel joke. Every creature and object challenges every breath I take. Yet when I try to escape without that breath being my last, I close my eyes and see her.

I walk as if I could disappear if I took enough steps. I am away from the noise of the traffic as it is replaced by the birds in the trees. I’m alone, but what else is new? This forest is less daunting, but any place feels empty when she is not there. Every squirrel and bird in this forest does not have the honor of crossing her path. Every tree that stretches toward the dull grey sky will never again be graced by her touch. The blades of grass cannot meet her. I lay down and surround myself with them. The ones not bent by my limbs dance around my head in the breeze. The sun peeks from behind the clouds, wondering if it is a good time to chat. It chases the clouds away in an attempt to help me. It’s no good. I wish to decay into the soil I lay upon. The air humming through the trees sings me to sleep as I close my eyes and see her. I don’t wake up.

I will never again drive to grab a coffee or have a game night with my friends. I won’t see my children’s smiles for quite some time or see them grow old as I have. There will never be another day when I go to a pool in the heat of summer and splash around happily. There will be no drive to the ice cream shop to lick away at my favorite flavor. My walks in the woods with her at my side will no longer live only in memory. I remember the first time I brought her here. She was wearing a grey dress with lace sleeves that her long, flaming ginger draped over. Her ice-blue eyes looked up at me with determination and passion. I think about my life and any possible regrets, but I lived it the way I was meant to. Although I was meant to die before she did, we grew old together as planned. For our own two beautiful children, I can only wish the same for them and their loved ones. I wish they would see me off, but I also wish for them not to see me this way. I closed my eyes for a final time and took my final breath.

There she is. Kneeling above me, she is the young, gorgeous woman I first laid eyes upon. My smooth hand reaches up to hers as she takes it with grace, bringing me to my feet and away from my frail and wrinkled body that still lies in the grass. She runs her fingers through my blonde hair as her lips touch mine once more, a sensation I’ve longed for since she left. I hold her hand as we walked further from the world. It is us and only us, and now it could be that way until the end of time. She smiles at me, in the warm and understanding way that she always has, leading me deeper into the forest.