Roses and Violets: My Relationship With the Love Story of a Priest’s Widow and the First Lady

…..Like many little girls, I wanted to be a princess. I wanted to wear a pretty dress, sing to the animals in the forest, and fall in love with the handsome prince. I later realized I didn’t want to marry the prince, but to marry the princess. However, I couldn’t have the princess. It was wrong to want the princess. If you did get the princess, she would leave and marry the prince, become separated to never see each other again, and Hollywood’s favorite, one or both of you die from your sin. You don’t get a fairytale ending. You die alone and forgotten. That’s all that there is for you; I watched every artsy Sundance & French film to prove it. I turned to LGBT history forums, looking, grasping, yearning for a couple with a happy ending, for some hope I can be happy too. Most all told a similar tale of fleeting romance with separation and death. Just as I thought I was doomed to a love life of impermanence and despair, I discovered the love story of Rose Cleveland and Evangeline Simpson Whipple. I shall tell the tale of the women who gave me hope for love.

…..I discovered Cleveland and Whipple in a rather unromantic way. I was in high school around fifteen years old in 2018. I was avoiding my homework by watching a drunk history episode appropriately titled “Frances Cleveland becomes an ‘it’ girl.” It was about the only marriage to happen in the White House and how amazing Frances Cleveland was, but that’s another essay to write about. Before Grover Cleveland married, his sister Rose Cleveland stood in as the first lady. After watching the episode, someone mentioned in the comments that Rose Cleveland was a lesbian and had a passionate love affair with Evangeline Whipple. Being the history-obsessed nerd I was, I proceeded to immediately look them up. Over the course of the following months, I spent hours secretly researching everything I could find of the women in my mother’s home office. I have grown to know many sapphic relationships in history, but few have impacted me like Rose and Evangeline.

…..At the end of 1889, only a few months after her brother Grover Cleveland’s first term as president, Rose Cleveland traveled to a Floridian resort for winter holiday. It is there where she met the love of her life Evangeline Simpson; a wealthy widow, philanthropist, and social activist. While little is known about their time at the resort, both women were intellectuals, participated in their communities, and were part of the literary world. They likely spent many hours in each other’s company, relating to one another as they haven’t been able to with others. Rose and Evangeline eventually fell in love. Unfortunately, both women had different responsibilities in different states and went their own ways after their holiday. However, because of their long periods of separation, we have hold of over 100 of their passionate love letters.

…..During this time in my life, I wasn’t out of the closet. I grew up in a small rural town, and while I had a few close-knit queer friends, no one was completely out of the closet. When my parents found out, they forced me to not tell anyone. “I stuck out already, I didn’t need to give people more reasons to not like me” was their mindset. All I had for representation were my books and historical couples, which is why I think I held on to these women so tightly.

…..The women spent many years apart longing for each other’s touch. Yet, it could be said that their separation only made their connection grow even stronger with every letter. Unfortunately, only Rose Cleveland’s letters survive in public archives. However, Rose quoted Whipple in her letters, and since Evangeline kept all her letters, it is clear she held the words and thoughts of Rose close to her heart. Their letters go through a vast amount of intense emotions, with love and yearning being the most influential. In their first few years of love, their words are fiery, passionate, and wanting.

…..Rose to Evangeline; 1890:
…..“My Eve! Ah, how I love you! It paralyzes me … Oh Eve, Eve, surely you cannot realize what you are to me. What you must be. Yes, I dare it, now, I will not [sic] longer fear to claim you. You are mine by every sign in Earth & Heaven, by every sign in soul & spirit & body — and you cannot escape me. You must bear me all the way, Eve …”

…..Evangeline to Rose; as quoted from Rose’s letter:
…..“Oh darling, come to me this night — my Clevy, my Viking, My — Everything, Come! God Bless Thee.”

…..Rose responds:
…..“Your Viking kisses you!”

…..Queer women’s relationships are frequently fetishized for the male gaze. To know these women had a physical relationship with each other without the audience of a man is at its core heartwarming. When I discovered this story, I had never experienced love. I wanted to, so badly. I’ve had a hard time believing it could happen to me. I wanted to feel love like this. To fall so hard that it crushes my very soul, and the love of another holds it together. Their letters continue in this romantic fashion for over six years. They were able to come together at many moments throughout those years. It seemed as if everything was perfect; until it wasn’t.

…..In 1896, Evangeline Simpson married Henry Benjamin Whipple, the first Episcopal Bishop in Minnesota who was 34 years her senior. It is unclear why she married the bishop. It could have been for wealth (although she was already plenty wealthy), to hide her sexuality, to further her philanthropist and activism goals through the church, or even love. In one letter, Rose begged Evangeline:
“I do not think you need me now. But I plead that you will consider what I said this morning. I will give up all to you if you will try once more to be satisfied with me. Could you not take six months for that experiment? We would go away from everyone.”

…..No matter the fact, it put a years-long rift between Rose and Evangeline. Their passionate language soon faded from their letters. They stopped calling each other their pet names, and conversations became no more than small talk. They were as physically and emotionally distant as can be.
My initial pessimism for hopes of a love life started with my dad I think. When he found out I was gay he did everything he could to discourage it. One of the things he said to me was that his friend’s daughter was a “lesbian” in his most disgusted voice. Every relationship she had led to failure. She was used and emotionally abused by one of her girlfriends. He told me any relationship I had would be just like hers. I was chasing something I wasn’t supposed to have.

…..“You will never be happy with a woman.”

…..I’ve experienced a form of love with a few people. I loved them all for six months or longer. But they all eventually faded away, for it wasn’t meant to be. I tried not to believe him, but if all I was surrounded by was dead ends and heartbreak, it was hard to believe he wasn’t telling the truth.

…..But like a phoenix, the love of the two women rose again. When all felt it was over, Henry Benjamin Whipple died in 1901. Shortly after his death, Whipple and Cleveland came back together. Their letters fell back into their sweet and tender nature. They continued to live separately and visit each other every so often. By 1909, both women were becoming too old for their frequent excursions. One day Rose Cleveland said,

…..“I need you and life is not long enough to always wait.”

…..Next year, Evangeline and Rose traveled all the way to Bagni di Lucca, Italy where they lived the rest of their lives. After over two decades they were finally together. They continued to work in social causes such as supporting schools, hospitals, raising women’s wages, and helping refugees during World War I. Rose died of the Spanish Flu at the age of 72, and Evangeline died eight years later at the age of 73. Rose Cleveland and Evangeline Simpson Whipple are buried side by side in Bagni de Lucca, Italy where they lay together forever.

…..Knowing their story, knowing their love, and knowing they are buried side by side is what I needed to hear at my young age. Their love has given me hope that one day I will be able to experience a piece of their joy and happiness with another person. I have now been dating my girlfriend for more than half a year. Even though I’ve dated her only for a short while, I have never felt such burning love for anyone in all my life. She is the first person I feel completely connected with as if we were two violet flowers growing on the same stem. I am not sacrificing anything by being with her, she is everything I want and more. She understands me on a level no one ever has. I not only hope, but know I will love her for a very long time.

…..One day, I hope to see the letters of Rose and Evangeline in person in the Minnesota Historical Society archives. For they have not only inspired me romantically but pushed me to continue to protect the history of queer people as a historian. One day, I hope to prove to others like me that love exists for everyone.